A while back I decided to stop writing my blog and delete every blogpost I have ever written. I wrote that it was because of training, to focus on Rio de Janeiro. And it was. But now I have realised that focusing on training was not the whole truth. My decision was mainly based on Fear.
Fear of humans. Fear in the form of all sorts of threats and full on aggression. And no, I am not talking about a little “shut up bitch” here and there, that’s breakfast for me. I am talking about threatening and pressuring, not getting a job if I continue and whatnot and even tracking me down and taking my life kind of threats. But I have not been afraid of Death since I was around 7 years old and risked my life for a drowning girl. Death was there and I knew at that very moment that fear of Death leads to fear of life and decisions made in fear only lead to more fear. So I decided to not give two shits about Fear and just go for it, trust the Author of the universe, and so I have ever since then.
But I guess we are all afraid sometimes. Sometimes it just feels that it is too much. Too many storms and you just give up. But who am I to give up? Me that is always preaching about never backing down? About always believing and doing what you love? And what I love is writing. Especially blogging. I love the freedom and I love inspiring and waking people up. Waking myself up as well to be honest. And now is the time for me to wake up. I have not written a single text since I stopped blogging. I just could not do it. I have only written poetry and it’s all right, but not really my cup of tea. I rather be someone’s shot of whiskey than everyone’s cup of tea anyways, and blogging definitely spices things up more than rhyming in La-La land.
So I guess the question is how I have been going? Good actually. I live with one of my best friends in a beach house on the central coast in Australia. The ocean loves me almost as much as I love the ocean. And I am learning how to surf and overall have learned many new things during the past months that I cannot wait to share with you! I have taken a break from university and have time to write between trainings, it’s actually a great little distraction, as I tend to get a little bit intense sometimes. And while I promise to try not to get too intense, I will not water down my spirit. I am passionate and if you like it, great, if you don’t, that’s cool too.
Now I will get stuck into writing! Please excuse me for being rusty, hopefully I’ll be back on fire in a flash! 😉
…And a little poem to top it off:
“Many are called, few are chosen, most of our souls are dark and broken,
what can I do, oh what can I do?
Position your heart and become brand new,
accept your calling and follow the fire,
Passion burns stronger than earthly desire.”